It would seem that most people do not give their golf clubs nicknames. It seems many of us are actually doing word of mouth advertising for the manufacturers by using their manufacturer provided names. You are the first tee and pull out your driver. Your playing partner says “so, how do you like your new Taylormade X?” If it’s a putter, you could get the predictable comment along the lines of “how do you like your scotty?” I guess for new equipment that’s mostly the way it goes.
The best golf club nicknames
However, recently and out of the blue, I’ve been witness to two golf clubs getting nicknames on the course. As I’ve thought about it, I’m realizing that there are a few creative people out there that are naming golf clubs for either themselves or for others. While rare, naming golf clubs isn’t anything new. Bobby Jones himself won his first three majors with the original Calamity Jane. It was a putter named after the famous female sharpshooter from the old west.
Putters definitely are prime candidates for nicknames. Who can forget the famed Billy Baroo putter that Judge Smails pulls out for that crucial putt on the 18th green at Bushwood Country Club in the movie Caddyshack.
Types of golf club nicknames
Club naming falls into basically in two camps. In my mind, both are equally cool. First, is the person that names the golf club or even in some cases multiple golf clubs themselves. These are creative people that usually have a good story to tell. In some cases, clubs are given nicknames even at the beginning. Recently, a buddy told me he had a bought a new putter and he had named it The Outlaw Josey Wales after the character and movie starring Clint Eastwood back in 1976. Why that name? It’s a putter driven by revenge that goes on to make a name for itself as a feared gunslinger.
The second way a golf club gets a name is by someone else besides the owner giving it a name based on something that has happened. I recently got off to a good putting start while playing at a resort course that had caddies. My putter cover has a picture of a jar of honey on it. The caddie started calling my putter honey. It seemed fitting for a while. A couple three putts later, I’m not sure if the name will stick or not yet.
Professional golfer Bryson DeChambeau once stated that he named most the clubs in his bag. Here are just a couple of his club names. He named his 7-iron tin cup because it was Roy’s favorite club in the movie Tin Cup. He named his 5-iron azalea after the par-5 13th at Augusta. I’m not sure I’m down for naming every club in the bag. However, I’m going to be looking for the opportunity to talk about how the Outlaw Josey Wales is fairing next time on the course.
Just look to the movies for ideas for golf club nicknames
Movie titles and movie characters provide great potential nicknames. They are iconic. They can be inspiring, funny or even self deprecating.
Top Gun Maverick – “I feel the need for speed.” Name of that tower buzzing club that you need when you aren’t looking to layup.
The Good, The Bad & The Ugly – Putter name for someone’s putter that has a better sense of humor than their putting game.
Cool Hand Luke – Name for any club that exudes not just coolness under pressure but an unbreakable will and bravado.
A Fistful of Dollars – This has to be the go-to club when there is money on the line and it’s time to deliver.
Dirty Harry – Yet another iconic Clint Eastwood character and movie. Name for that club you need to pull when you don’t care what people think and you just need to deliver the results.
King Kong – Have an oversized mallet putter or some tee ball smashing driver? Nothing like unleashing the eighth wonder of the world.
Excalibur – Pretty much the iconic putter name. The club you unsheathe that has the ultimate power that can only be wielded by its true master.
The Dark Knight – When your club is all black and you have the superior technology, not just the bad guys in Gotham should be afraid.
The Godfather – Most likely not a self named golf club. If your golf club is named after Don Vito Corleone, you’re the player in the group who will be making those around you an offer they can’t refuse.
Seinfeld golf club nicknames
To date, I still count Seinfeld as the best TV comedy of all time. My friend Hetz feels the same. He’s such a fan, he just put three new wedges in play and they all have nods back to Seinfeld. He compiled quite a list of possibilities but landed on the following three.
Kavorka – Kramer and the Lure of the animal
Man Hands
Bosco
Some honorable mentions and ideas for other great Seinfeld golf club names.
- These pretzels are making me thirsty
- yada yada yada
- Serenity now
- No soup for you
- Master of my domain
- Double dip
The more I think about golf club nicknames, the more I think we golfers need to be using them more often. I know I will be looking around the bags of my playing partners for a fitting opportunity to unleash a fitting nickname. Most of my best memories on the golf course have nothing to do with the score shot but more to do with the company and the camaraderie. Do you have a golf club nickname?